So flying out a cousin (same one who always gives me these funny stories- trouble follows him like magnets do metal!) served by a flight attendant who was really nice and seemed to put everyone in a good mood. As the plane descended, he came...well, swishing... down the aisle and said, "Captain Marvey has announced that we will be landing shortly and so, lovely people, if you could kindly raise your trays that would be super!"

On his way back up the aisle, he noticed that a very rich-looking young woman hadn't moved a muscle.

"Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines, but I asked you to raise your tray so the main man can pop us back on the ground."

She calmly turned to him and said, "In my country I am called a Princess, and I take orders from noone."

To which he replied, without missing a beat, "Well, in my country, I'm called a Queen, so I out-rank you. Tray up, bitch!"

AHAHAHA! XD

Since Aer Lingus doesn't do Dublin/LAX Flights anymore, he had to get a connector in Heathrow. Got talking to a lad from Ballyfermot who said that he could guarantee that he'd be questioned by the customs people. Apparently he always did... Anyways, they got to the passport check, and the customs man asked (apparently in his finest London accent) "Well sir, are we going anywhere nice this summer?"

The man snapped back, "Well, I'M going somewhere nice, but I don't remember fucking inviting you anywhere!"

Great stuff! XD Ahhh, he's got a load of brilliant stories, I'll post some of 'em... :D